Ways to Love Yourself in 2024
Before
we get into know the ways to love yourself, it is important to address why some
of the common tactics to love yourself don’t give you the result that you want.
The
two most common ways of loving yourself are 1. positive affirmation about
yourself, and 2. treating yourself physically well.
1. Positive Affirmation
This
is by telling yourself “I am great,” “I
am lovable” or “I am smart.” Whatever you think isn’t great about yourself
or feel ashamed about yourself or the situation to just turn that into a
positive.
The
problem with a positive affirmation or the reason why it’s not fulfilling is that
it doesn’t tell yourself something positive doesn’t eliminate the negative thought
we have about ourselves.
If
I think I am unlovable then there’s a reason for that and by just telling myself
over and over again I am lovable it doesn’t address the reason why I think I’m
unlovable. That’s why these types of positive affirmations don’t feel us with
love for ourselves and make us happy.
2. Treat our bodies well
It
is basically to do something nice for ourselves such as spa, treat yourself to
your favorite food, got to a concert or get a manicure and that is treating
your body well.
The
reason why we don’t love ourselves is that we have negative thoughts about
ourselves. When treating ourselves we’re saying “I deserve this” and “this something that I should give to myself.”
However, treating ourselves physically to something nice doesn’t address the thoughts that make us feel unlovable or unhappy. To feel lovable or worthy, we need to address the thoughts that make us feel unlovable or unhappy.
Now
that we see why these methods don’t give us the love that we want let’s look at
how to experience love for ourselves. The first question you have to ask
yourself is why do I feel unlovable? What
do I not like about myself? What do I think is bad about my situation? What is
causing it?
Most
of us might feel “I to be want attractive,”
or “I am not social enough” or maybe it’s
not a specific thing but it’s just an underlying sense of unloved ability or
unworthiness.
We
need to look at what’s there for you, you can do it now or you can take time on
your own because it might take a little while. Whatever thoughts are making you
feel unlovable it’s not under our control, they just pop up out of nowhere and
it’s not personal.
Once
we see what’s creating this unlovability and see what’s creating it, then you
can simply ask yourself:
a. Does this exist as a
fact?
b. Am I factually unlovable?
c. Am I factually unattractive?
d. Am I factually in a bad situation?
Look at the thoughts that make you feel unlovable and see does it exist as a fact? or is it exist as a thought?. When you don’t have that thought how do you feel?
You
can also ask yourself, could the opposite perspective be true? Could somebody
think my situation is great? If other people can have that perspective then how
do we know that the perspective in our mind is true? We don’t!
The
thought that we’re not good enough creates the experience of unlovability and
unworthiness but that’s not who we are. Anytime that we feel unlovable or
unworthy or we want to love ourselves because we don’t feel it. Instead of
telling something great about ourselves look to see why or what thoughts are
creating this feeling or stories that are going on around our mind at that
moment.
Question
all of it. Is that true? Where does that exist? Is that a fact? Once you see
that it just exists as a thought then all of a sudden you are free.
The
absence of judgments about yourself leaves you with love for yourself from
yourself into everybody.